"funny how?"

quotes:

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

Jack Nicholson

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

Billy Crystal

Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy.

Steve Martin

It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.

George Burns

I don't have a girlfriend, I just know a girl that would get really pissed if she heard me say that.

Mitch Hedburg

You cannot outthink someone who isn't thinking.

Albert Einstein

In a world gone mad, only a lunatic is truly insane.

Homer Simpson

It's better to be pissed off, then pissed on!

Annonymous

He couldn't make me laugh, even if I was laughing my ass off and he was the one making me do it!

Family Guy

Even a fish could stay out of trouble if it kept it's mouth shut!

Annonymous

A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body!

Annonymous

Last week my tie caught on fire. Some guy tried to put it out with an ax!

Rodney Dangerfield

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.

Hunter S. Thompson

Is it possible to see something so funny, that it ruins your sense of humor forever?

Eric Cartman

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Will Rogers

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.

Albert Einstein

I just thought of something funny...your mother.

Cheech Marin

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

Peter O'Toole.

Who the [heck] wants to hear actors talk?

H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927

All I need to make comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.

Charlie Chaplin

I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.

Mel Brooks

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Joe E Lewis

I can resist everything except temptation.

Oscar Wilde

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.

Pablo Picasso

UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.

Dennis Ritchie

Drinking for an entertainer is like stretching for an athlete.

Mitch Hedberg

There are no good ways to die.

Chick McGee

If you die, and you're in debt, you win.

Ben Creed

If you can't spot the sucker at your table in the first thirty minutes, you are the sucker.

Matt Damon, Rounders

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

Colette

You can go along way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.

Al Capone

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

Mel Brooks

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

Dave Edison

There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand for that.

Steve Martin

Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.

Jim Carrey

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.

George Carlin

If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane!

Jimmy Buffet

If you dedicate yourself to learning about your subject for 15 minutes a day, in a year's time you'll be an expert. In five years, you'll be a national expert. The only hard part is choosing your subject.

Albert Einstein

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of the day history

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There are 581 Sites and counting ... Enjoy!

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ite http://www.brainplace.com/bp/waystooptim... Give it a read - and learn what it took me 4 years to learn as a general science major. Or at least skim it. Submitted by J$, Aired on 07/15/2004 6 Comments

ite http://www.city-data.com/ learn quick facts about your town or one that interests you. A lot of facts! Submitted by J$, Aired on 07/14/2004 5 Comments

ite http://www.noedesign.com/ Coolest design I've seen in a while - plus animations are hilarious!!! Submitted by J$, Aired on 07/13/2004 1 Comments

ite http://www.usgenweb.org/ Trace your family tree for free! A group of volunteers has gathered a number of Web sites on genealogical research. Submitted by ZackDaddy, Aired on 07/12/2004 2 Comments

ite http://www.webtvlist.com/ Today's site links to different television broadcasts. You can watch television stations from the United States, Canada and Great Britain. Submitted by ZackDaddy, Aired on 07/11/2004 0 Comments

ite http://www.mozilla.org/products/mozilla1... You may want to look into this and switch over. Many are finding it to be better than Microsoft's Internet Explorer. It has a built in popup blocker. Submitted by J$, Aired on 07/10/2004 0 Comments

ite http://portland.craigslist.org/ one of the best sites online, to look for stuff and to sell stuff. Submitted by J$, Aired on 07/09/2004 0 Comments

ite http://www.600rr.net/forums/viewtopic.ph... HOLY MOLY! Submitted by J$, Aired on 07/08/2004 1 Comments

ite http://www.njagyouth.org/Liberty_.htm I know it's over but this is neat! Happy 4th of July!Click anywhere in the sky multiple times..... Submitted by tiff_25, Aired on 07/07/2004 0 Comments

ite http://www.jasons-toolbox.com/BrowserSec... take the test and find out how vunerable you are to hackers. Submitted by J$, Aired on 07/06/2004 0 Comments

ite http://www.blackjack-school.com/indexa.s... learn to play cards. Submitted by J$, Aired on 07/05/2004 0 Comments

ite http://www.vischeck.com/examples/ See the world from a color blind perspective. Submitted by ZackDaddy, Aired on 07/04/2004 0 Comments

ite http://mesa.rrzn.uni-hannover.de/ The Meta E-mail Search Agent (MESA) claims to be the largest e-mail address book in the world. So if you have forgotten someones email address, type in their name and click search. Results may not be their newest address, but worth a shot! Submitted by ZackDaddy, Aired on 07/03/2004 0 Comments

ite http://www.colorquiz.com/ Take the 5 minute personality quiz. You just chose the colors that are most pleasing to you and evidently that determines your personality type. Mine was pretty accurate. Submitted by ZackDaddy, Aired on 07/02/2004 0 Comments

ite http://www.homeideas.com/ Home Ideas is a research center for consumers, contractors and designers. You'll find information on every aspect of your home. Submitted by ZackDaddy, Aired on 07/01/2004 0 Comments

ite http://www.ingenious.org.uk Today's site features the National Museum of Science and Industry in London. You can see a picture of the first television transmission and much more! Submitted by ZackDaddy, Aired on 06/30/2004 0 Comments

ite http://www.amw.com/ Seen any psychos lately? Do a search and see if they are wanted by the FBI. Submitted by ZackDaddy, Aired on 06/29/2004 0 Comments

ite http://www.pbs.org/saf/ Scientific American Frontiers with Alan Alda (Guy from Mash). You can watch past episodes, get more info, view schedule, etc. This is an awesome show every sunday at 11:00 on OPB. Submitted by ZackDaddy, Aired on 06/28/2004 2 Comments

ite http://www.lileks.com/postcards/motels/ This Web site has scanned postcards from motels across the United States from the 50s and 60s Submitted by ZackDaddy, Aired on 06/27/2004 1 Comments

ite http://www.rhymezone.com/ If you're a poet and ya knowit - Use this! Submitted by J$, Aired on 06/26/2004 0 Comments

ite http://www.wolinskyweb.net/word.htm You guys are in for a real treat today. Submitted by J$, Aired on 06/25/2004 1 Comments

ite http://www.zefrank.com/scribbler/ Today's site lets you scribble a drawing and the Scribbler will draw on top of it. You can create some pretty cool pictures. Submitted by ZackDaddy, Aired on 06/24/2004 1 Comments

ite http://www.shockwave.com/sw/content/inkl... Today's site is basically pictionary online. Score points as you draw and guess the secret words. Submitted by ZackDaddy, Aired on 06/23/2004 1 Comments

ite http://www.bankrate.com/brm/calculators/... Bank Calculators Submitted by ZackDaddy, Aired on 06/22/2004 2 Comments

ite http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/archive... NASA astronomy pic of the day. Submitted by ZackDaddy, Aired on 06/21/2004 1 Comments

ite http://home.centurytel.net/venice/ Today's site is my dads. Where you can learn more about Rick Johnson and family. You can also find some good quotes and learn more about the safety and health benefits of telecommuting! Submitted by ZackDaddy, Aired on 06/20/2004 0 Comments

ite http://www.daboyz.org/honda/ This is an awesome commercial from Honda! It was shot in real time 606 times to get it just right. Quite an Engineering feat! Note: if you have slow bandwidth you can download it first. Submitted by ZackDaddy, Aired on 06/19/2004 0 Comments

ite http://www.accident-report.com/ Todays site has reports on military aviation accidents dating back to 1918. Submitted by ZackDaddy, Aired on 06/18/2004 0 Comments

ite http://www.healthcentral.com Great place to go for consumer health information Submitted by Lakira76, Aired on 06/17/2004 0 Comments

ite http://www.digitalkick.com/ Todays site is for broadband users only! It uses flash and has some good effects. Submitted by ZackDaddy, Aired on 06/16/2004 0 Comments

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